My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
