none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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