hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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