Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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