awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
