I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
