I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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