I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So. Much. Porn.
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