Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize