Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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