She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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