Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
