Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
