the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize