We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
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she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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