can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
