I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
