i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
