What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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