Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize