Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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