BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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