do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
