I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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