I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
