I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
