um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
