U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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