Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
