Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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