i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize