Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
