Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
