Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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