Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
