you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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