The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
