I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so let's talk penis.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize