he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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