community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize