Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
