No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize