I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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