I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
