Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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