I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
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She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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