the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
