butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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