well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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