His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My liver just broke up with me...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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