..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
