I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
