I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
