come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
