Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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