Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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