Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
