Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
