woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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