Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
