i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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