trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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