Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
